It all Begins

I am writing this blog to share with everyone what God has done in our lives. This is just a glimpse of what our God can do.

James and I were married in 1994. We both were 24 years old when God finally placed us in each others life. (That's a whole different blessing!) After we were married three years, we were ready to start adding children to our family. I never thought it would be that hard. After several years of trying and many heartaches, we were finally pregnant at age 29. By the time Ian was born, I was 30 years old. That was not exactly how I had planned it, but I knew God was in control and he had blessed us with a precious boy.

Well, we wanted our children to be close in age so after two years we began to try again. Nothing seemed to happen. I took several rounds of clomid but it did not work. My doctor sent us to a fertility specialist. James and I both seemed uneasy about going but we did anyway. We knew in our hearts that God could do anything and if we were to have another child he would be the one to do it. We stopped going to see the specialist. Years went by and by and by. I just did not understand. It was not easy to forget. We desired to have another child. Why was God not allowing it. Through out a period of eight years, I had three doctors tell me I was in early menopause! What! How could this be? Why? Why us? I never accepted it. So many people would say "just forget it and it would happen" . People, you don't just forget it. I prayed that God would take this burning desire from me if this was not his plan but he never did. I really believed that there was another child for us to love and share our home with. We started looking into adoption. I was interested in adopting from China. I met people who had adopted from China. Was this God confirming our direction!! I was so excited. We began to fill out our application when I saw one of the questions wanted to know if either one of us has a convulsive disorder?? Does that mean epilepsy? Because I did, but it had been almost four years since my last seizure. They were under control. I spoke to the agency and I was devastated when they told me yes, that included epilepsy. They really wanted me to be seizure free for five years. I got my neurologist to right me a letter. It did not matter. China was out. What was God doing?

Fall of 2008 I participated in a bible study called Believing God by Beth Moore. If you have not done this one, I challenge you to. It changed me. I was doing this study why we were going through all the adoption stuff and I just could not figure out what God wanted me to do. I really felt God leading me in a direction then it was pulled out from under me. Each day he spoke to me and helped me understand him better. But I felt like I was crazy most of the time. Would, could God really speak to me like he has?

My Promise
I was frustrated one Saturday because I was feeling crazy. I thought God told me he had a little girl out there for us, I just did not know which way to go to find her. If we adopted from China I was going to name her Ava. Her birth name would relate to our name Ava. It would be a sign that God had orchestrated it all! That Saturday afternoon Ian an I went to Longview just to do get out of the house. I was always looking for another car so I thought we would stop by dealerships. On our way, I was really fussing at God. "What are you calling us to do? Where is this girl you promised me? Where are we to adopt from? Am I just crazy and you have not promised me anything?" (and I was doing all this fussing out loud!) At that moment we stopped at a red light and I looked up and the name of the street was Avalon. I busted out to God, "what is this God, you want me to go look at an Avalon car?" ( and I was sassy!) I looked up at the sign again and I tell you the truth, all I saw was Ava!!! My skin begin to scrawl and I began to cry! "Lord are you giving me a promise?" This is the way I ended that day: "Lord, I don't know who Ava is. She may be our daughter in another country. She may be Ian's wife. She may just be a girl that needs my prayers, but God, I commit to pray for her whoever she is." Wow what a day! It is an awesome feeling to see God work and I believed with all my heart that he worked that day!